Early this morning, I was transcribing the interview I did with Isadora, and she spoke about the feminino, and how women have to reinvent a new way to be women so as not to fall into the same errors as our mothers, she realized at some point that she had no one to copy and thus had to create her reality. I heard my voice say that I got goosebumps.
Then I spoke with one of my best friends Margarita, through fb and she and I have led parallel lives, although quietly, for some time, making the same mistakes and realizing them in each other, and at different points calling each other out on behaviors or cyclical thoughts. Before I left Tucson I told her I couldn’t be her friend anymore because she was so lost. Homeless, following this guey around, not making art, not going to school. Brainwashed. We sent some emails and since then have opened up a dialogue again. We are like mirrors, just in different measures of the same sheet of music. It’s strange. We came back together and I feel like she helped me decide that I do need to return and finish school sooner than later, and I don’t need to fall in love, because sometimes women forget that we are also human and have our own paths and fall into the socially conditioned roles of adapting our ideals to those of another. We waste time and get lost. It was a warning, we know each other too well and I appreciate that she cares enough to tell me what she thinks when she can feel what I’m not saying.
Also it was very nice to talk with Mikey last night, sometimes when you say something out loud you realize how ridiculous it sounds, and how these thoughts are not me, I’m not dying, I’m fine these things all pass. I feel like he is another real friend someone with whom listens and gives a straight honest response.
Also my period just came, which I feel is not an excuse, even though sometimes I portray it as such, for my emotions and over thinking. I’m happy and I feel more connected to the earth when I am part of a process that is not by choice, not logical or mechanical, just natural, it just is.
We all participate in these natural processes eating, sleeping, dying, bleeding.
Something I’ve come to love about my time here in Mexico, and with these new people and situations I meet, is the idea of COMPARTIR. To share. To realize that we are all very similar. That we all need each other to survive and that we are all strong individuals at the same time. In order to create a truely grand change in the world we need to love each other and share what we have, and what we don’t have.

I want to learn.

I want to learn from the past and move through it, fly through and see from greater heights.

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